Get comfortable you on the path to restore, regulate, and respond in a healthy way in under 12 minutes. Click below to pick up this free resource which includes 2 videos, 2 audio meditations, and a downloadable guide and let me know where to send it, and you'll have it within seconds.
Download Secure Attachment Guide & 5-Week Relationship Restoration Exercise designed to help rewrite your insecure attachment patterns.
Attachment theory basically divides the world into three groups (there are exceptions, but here are the broad strokes):
1) Securely attached people: These people fundamentally know they are loved, deserving of love, and good at loving others. They are likely to have healthy, happy love relationships.
2) Insecurely attached people, tending toward "Anxious": These people fundamentally fear abandonment, doubt if they are loved, and continually try to close the gap between themselves and those they love, often leaving their loved ones with the feeling that they are needy and smothering. Someone who has the anxious pattern might think that love is threatened when their partner is just expressing normal and healthy autonomy (wanting to spend a weekend apart, having different interests, wanting to sleep without touching on a hot night, or not being 'in the mood' from :me to :me).
3) Insecurely attached people, tending toward "Avoidant": These people fundamentally fear engulfment, doubt if they can love fully, ad continually try to create more distance between themselves and those they love, often leaving their loved ones with the feeling that they are aloof and stand-offish. Someone who has the avoidant pattern might think that freedom and individuality is threatened when their partner is expressing normal and healthy closeness (wanting to interrupt your work with a kiss or a loving text, wanting to spend the night multiple nights in a row, wanting to drive together instead of separate, wanting to hold hands or walk arm in arm).
If you very frequently feel crowded in by your lover, its more likely that you are insecurely avoidant then that they are always crowding
you in. If you feel your partner never pays enough attention to you, its more likely that you are insecurely anxious than that they aren't actually showing you love and care.
Our experience is that the insecure attachment patterns arise from
underdeveloped organismic rights, such as the right to need and the right to
This is a concept developed by an Austrian Psychoanalyst named Wilhelm Reich that outlines a series of developmental stages that every child goes through. They are something you can’t be without. They can’t be taken away. When a child is less than completely successful at navigating through a stage, it is believed that the results get stored in your body… as “body armoring” and the energy gets stuck in the pattern. The unresolved parts of us are not fully available for us in the next stage as we move into adulthood.
If you fully develop these 5 organismic rights you can develop healthy higher order beliefs which lead to healthy secure relationships. Each of us has beliefs that are consistent with these rights. Each of us has beliefs that are inconsistent with these rights. Each under developed right can express itself directly or as an overcompensation.
These stuck energy patterns likely formed when you were young and in your first few years of development can show up in your relationships in unhealthy ways.
1. If you don’t trust your right to exist…
You will believe in the illusion of annihilation and that your environment and the people in it are dangerous and unsafe.
2. If you don’t trust your right to need…
You will believe in the illusion of scarcity and that you will be abandoned and helpless if you share your needs.
3. If you don’t trust your right to be assertive…
You will believe the illusion of conditionality and that you will only be loved as long as you are good, compliant and self sacrificing
4. If you don’t trust your right to be autonomous…
You will believe the illusion of separateness and that it would be possible to permanently lose belonging if you were too independent.
5. If you don’t trust your right to be love and be loved…
You believe the illusion of insignificance and apathy and that you will be rejected when you open your heart.
These Self Regulating Meditation videos are designed to help regulate your nervous system and anchor healthy secure patterning in your physiology and neurology. The include a combination of music, imagery, and healthy belief patterns that work in combination to restore your state in the moment when you might be feeling either anxious or avoidant.
The images in these videos are 'Sacred Circuits' given by one of our favorite metaphysical teachers named Bashar. These images are meant to evoke the states of being listed underneath each one. As you meditate on their shapes, they create a morphogenic field which can re-organize your energy and your neurology.
Morphogenic Field: Morpho - meaning form or shape. Genic - meaning giving live to, producing or causing. Therefore a morphogenic field is a form that can produce or cause an effect in it's environment.
Sacred Circuits: A series of images that are designed to alter the energetic circuitry of the physiology and neurology (credit: Bashar/Daryl Anka)
We recommend watching or listening to these meditations at any time when you are wanting to self regulate your nervous system back into a state of secure, balanced, healthy patterning. Open your eyes long enough to visualize the 3 sacred circuit images in each video in your mind's eye and then if it's more comfortable for you, close your eyes again as you listen to the rest of the meditation.