1 | Welcome To Evolving Love (6:00) |
1 | Set Yourself Up For Success (3:00) |
1 | What Is Evolving Love (10:29) |
1 | Your First Big Insight (5:03) |
1 | QUIZ: What Did You Learn In Module 1? |
Breaking Bad Repetitive Habits
1 | Why We Do What We Know Is Bad For The Relationship? (5:46) |
1 | Innies and Outies (Repressive & Reactive Patterns) (3:07) |
1 | Unhealthy Behaviors That We Can Stop (4:49) |
1 | Who's Pulling The Strings (5:57) |
1 | Freedom From The Victim Story (7:36) |
1 | It All Comes Down To This (1:33) |
1 | Unwinding Your Patterns (You Can Do It!) (13:05) |
1 | How To Make Good Habits Stick (5:57) |
1 | Knowing Yourself (And Your Partner) Completely (4:40) |
1 | What Did You Learn In Module 3? |
1 | No More Complaining And Defensiveness For Us (7:42) |
1 | Resolve Your Conflicts Permanently (3:47) |
1 | 3 Mistakes People Make When Using This Process (7:07) |
1 | DEMO: Bryan And Jennifer's (Real) Conflict (11:53) |
1 | DEMO: Bryan Sees Jennifer's Perfection (9:00) |
1 | DEMO: Jennifer Sees Bryan's Perfection (11:41) |
1 | DEMO: Bryan Shares A Future Vision Of Jennifer (16:05) |
1 | DEMO: Jennifer Shares A Future Vision Of Bryan (7:26) |
1 | Lightning Fast Conflict Resolution For Couples (5:34) |
1 | What Did You Learn In Module 4? |
1 | STEP 1: Which Conflict Would You Like To Resove Most? (4:19) |
1 | STEP 2: Writing Exercise - Finding Your Partner's Present Perfection |
1 | STEP 3: Get Ready To Be Your Best Self (2:32) |
1 | STEP 4: Practice Open Generous Listening (4:32) |
1 | STEP 5: See Your Partner's Perfection (3:09) |
1 | STEP 6: Transforming Your Complaints Into A Positive Vision For The Future (17:41) |
1 | STEP 7: Sharing Your Best Future Vision (5:24) |
1 | What Did You Learn In Module 5? |
for Conflict
1 | Anatomy Of Conflict: The More You Understand, The Smoother Things Can Be (2:06) |
1 | The Fights That Have Been Going On For Centuries (5:59) |
1 | The Unversal Patterns That All Couples Fall Into (3:48) |
1 | It's Not All About Your Childhood (But Some Of It Is) (4:26) |
1 | Power, Control, And Projection (9:34) |
1 | Why "Never Go To Bed Angry" Might Be Horrible Advice (3:30) |
1 | What To Do About Unmet Expectations And Unexpressed Needs (16:19) |
1 | Seeing Conflict With "Perfect Vision (11:34)" |
1 | The Main Theme Of Your Life Story (5:35) |
1 | What Did You Learn In Module 6? |
to Extraordinary Love
1 | Breakthrough #1 - Defining Yourself Is Limiting Yourself |
1 | Breakthrough #2 - It's Not Supposed To Be Hard Work |
1 | Breakthrough #3 - You Might Be Making The Wrong Lists |
1 | Breakthrough #4 - Commitment Isn't What You Think It Is |
1 | Breakthrough #5 - All Your Parts Deserve Love |
1 | Breakthrough #6 - You Can't Measure Love |
1 | Breakthrough #7 - Bad Isn't Always Bad |
1 | Breakthrough #8 - Focusing On Happiness Doesn't Make You Happy |
1 | Breakthrough #9 - How To Really Love An Inner Child |
1 | Breakthrough #10 - Which Way Should You Be Facing? |
1 | What Did You Learn In Module 7? |
1 | The Deepest Reason To Be Together (12:17) |
1 | The 2 Mistakes People Make When Co-Creating A Future Vision (1:34) |
1 | Good Examples Of A Common Purpose (And Some Bad Ones Too) (3:14) |
1 | Who Gets Their Way (And Why) (2:19)? |
1 | Example Of A Relationship Purpose (3rd Pole) At Work (7:46) |
1 | Defining And Communicating Your Relationship's Purpose (19:21) |
1 | What Did You Learn In Module 9? |
1 | Daily Practices For An Extraordinary Relationship - The First Light Practice (5:52) |
1 | Daily Practices For An Extraordinary Relationship - The Checkin Practice (7:57) |
1 | Daily Practices For An Extraordinary Relationship - Think Three Times Practice (4:57) |
1 | Daily Practices For An Extraordinary Relationship - Be Nice To Your Imaginary Friend Practice (3:15) |
1 | Daily Practices For An Extraordinary Relationship - Attraction Gardening Practice (4:02) |
1 | Weekly Practices For An Extraordinary Relationship - Energy Exchange (8:46) |
1 | Weekly Practices For An Extraordinary Relationship - Bring New Creativity Practice (4:14) |
1 | Monthly Practices For An Extraordinary Relationship - The Consideration Exchange Practice (11:15) |
1 | Monthly Practices For An Extraordinary Relationship - The Undefended Request for Feedback Practice (12:50) |
1 | Yearly Practices For An Extraordinary Relationship - Renewing Your Vows Practice (5:24) |
1 | Yearly Practices For An Extraordinary Relationship - Shifting Your Narrative Practice (4:27) |
1 | What Did You Learn In Module 10? |
1 | Yearly Practices For An Extraordinary Relationship - A Special Invication For You |
Module 3
Rewriting Your Patterns and Breaking Bad
Repetitive Habits
LESSON 5: Freedom From The Victim Story
RESOURCES
LESSON DESCRIPTION
In this lesson, we explore the 4th layer of your automatic patterns which is the Core Belief Layer. Here we find that there are three beliefs that drive most of our patterns:
1) Conditional Worthiness (I am not enough)
2) Victim Perpetrator (My life and circumstances are happening to me)
3) Dis-regulation (I am not safe)
Each of these core beliefs arises out of a fear that something might be true about you, other people, or the world. At this deeper level, if we can bring awareness to what the primary belief is for your most persistent patterns, we can not only understand the mechanisms, behaviors, and expressions above, but we can begin to rewrite your relationship DNA with something that is both empowering and closer to the truth. Share below which one of these beliefs is most commonly at work when you feel challenged with this pattern.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
LAYERS OF A PATTERN
“The shadow is not a problem to be solved or an enemy to be conquered, but a fertile field to be cultivated. When we dig our hands into its rich soil, we will discover the potent seeds of the people we most desire to be."
- Debbie Ford
REFLECTION QUESTION | Answer the question(s) below
Which one of these beliefs is most common when you feel challenged with this pattern? What would it be like if you realized this belief wasn't true?
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