In this lesson, we explore the baseline, final layer of your automatic patterns: The fear layer. In this lesson, you can see that your partner's patterned behavior is just their way of expressing fear and that your own reaction to their behavior is just your way of expressing fear. Seeing you partner and yourself this way can soften the patterns and allow them to loosen up and unwind themselves.
How might you treat a frightened child that you love? That is the same way that you could treat your partner when they are doing their pattern and the same way that you could treat yourself when you are doing your pattern.
“The shadow is not a problem to be solved or an enemy to be conquered, but a fertile field to be cultivated. When we dig our hands into its rich soil, we will discover the potent seeds of the people we most desire to be."
- Debbie Ford
REFLECTION QUESTION | Answer the question(s) below
What are your deepest fears about love, relationship and intimacy? Consider the shape your pattern might take if there was something else at the root?