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Module 4

Resolving Conflicts Permanently

LESSON 5: DEMO: Bryan Sees Jennifer's Perfection



In this lesson, you'll witness the very beginning of the "Perfect Vision" conflict resolution process starting with Step One. Bryan begins by seeing Jennifer as perfect in the present moment and relaxing any sense that she is wrong for how she is thinking and feeling. See where this is easy for him and also where he may have some difficulty at first.

The conflict is not resolved with words alone here. What matters is that both Bryan and Jennifer are only saying things that are absolutely true for them. Bryan is taking responsibility for his own judgments by acknowledging that Jennifer is not wrong for how she thought, felt, and acted. Even if those thoughts, feelings, and actions were painful for Bryan, she is not "bad" for having and doing them.


Bryan sees Jennifer's perfection in the conflict resolution process
Notice that he is drawing on his own experiences of Jennifer to form what he says, and is not just repeating what she has already told him
Notice how Bryan and Jennifer check in with each other to see if they are on track, and make adjustments depending on the answer

“Ultimately it’s not with who, but when you choose to surrender."

- Lisa Citore

REFLECTION QUESTION  | Answer the question(s) below

What did you notice about how Bryan spoke to Jennifer?

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