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Module 6

There's More Than One Reason for Conflict

LESSON 3: The Universal Patterns That All Couples Fall Into



In this lesson, we explore the second layer of conflict (-3), Universal Polarities and Energy Patterns.

There is a basic physics principle: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Keeping this in mind can help you understand Universal Polarities because they always come in pairs. If someone is acting "defensive", then there is an equal and opposite "attack" somewhere else in the relationship. If someone is dominant than someone else is likely to be submissive.

Understanding this layer can help us see how our own unconscious behaviors actually *create* some of the behavior in our partners that is most problematic for us.

When we practice the same responses over and over for a lifetime, they form familiar "energy patterns" in our bodies. These energy patterns have very predictable ways of interacting with each other. In this lesson, you'll learn about how they interact and begin to see that a lot of your conflicts are not even personal to you, and are truly universal and experienced by everyone with similar polarities and energy patterns! That's a great first step toward being able to choose differently.

Share in the comments below which of Kessler’s energy patterns feels most predominant when you are dealing with intense interactions?


Identify which Polarities and Energy Patterns are most relevant for you and your partner
See how it really isn't personal - even when it feels like it really is
Learn how to reverse polarities so that you can dissolve and resolve conflict
See your past conflicts in a whole new light
Learn a process that will help you see the polarities and energies at work

“Emotional Maturity means that your awareness operates even during the most profound emotional states."

- Richard Rudd

REFLECTION QUESTION  | Answer the question(s) below

Recognizing this layer: Which of the 5 survival energy patterns feels most predominant? The leaving pattern, the merging pattern, the enduring pattern, the aggressive pattern, the rigid pattern?

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