In this lesson, we explore the fourth layer of conflict (-1), Power Control and Projection.

Have you ever witnessed someone in a conflict, with an angry complaint that other people were doing *exactly* what they, themselves were doing? Have you ever noticed someone do something silly out of spite just to exert control in the situation (like breaking something or locking the car door)? If you have, you are observing the fourth layer of conflict.

It can be humbling to realize the degree to which we are all, always - yes always - acting out this layer in our conflicts. But this realization can also be the key to freeing yourself and your partner from this painful layer.

Share in the comments a place where you are casting yourself or others as the victim, hero, or perpetrator. Can you find where you are actually the author of the story instead?